Its Time Has Come and Gone

Well
Its been 6 years exactly
From beginning to end
I take a last look around
Breathe a sigh of regret
With heartache
And sorrow
I turn off the lights
Close the door
And just to be certain
Twist the lock in the deadbolt
And  throw down the key
Poems are wriitten and sent
Messages blocked from sending and receiving
Oct 2 is the very first day
Of no contact at all
Did I ever anticipate
That this day would come
When we started at the loft
No I didn't. Not at all.
Now its just one enormous dart
To the left of my chest
Impaled first hard and then deep
Because he turned out to be
An unbeliievably cowardly creep
Where once there was love
Now there is shell shock
Who is this person
I don't even know him
Self centered and ego
A coward and fear based
Shows no one remorse
He's defensive and lost
Drinking and running
He won't look in the mirror
And admit what he's done
He just makes excuses
And throws mistakes in my face
Even tho they were years past
Thankfully I'm free of that part at last
Unfortunately he'll continue to do it
He will run run and run
He tells himself he's a good guy
But everyone he does buy
Because money and power
Is all he really respects
What kind of life will he have
A lonely and empty one I expect
Deaf mute and silent
Lacking integrity and all lies
Couldn't even speak to explain
What is what
After more than half a decade
And with my chosen sacriifice and patience
He uttered never a word
To explain to me or apologize
For breaking my heart and abandoning me
That's the worst of it really
Hell what did I ever see
I can't even look in his eyes
I've lost most of the love
But its the habit I fear
Of not talking to him daily
While we pretend to act so gaily
But it shouldn't take long
To get used to good feelings
No rejection or excuses
No pain and constant hiding
No more of my lack of value and expendability
Cause now there's my value and hope
And I can be filled with light and laughter
Good friends and maybe even a lover
A new chapter begun today
Unknown but whatever
Nothing could match
The badness of our past weather
So it is with hope and belief
Of better to come
What life will bring me
I will definitely welcome
Goodbye to you my love
Goodbye to the past
Tommorrows a new day
Its finally time for me - J