I don’t know the exact number of books that I have read about the ever elusive, constantly sought after, concept of happiness but I can say that it is one heck of a lot! Have any of them provided the key to happiness, finally explaining to me how to seek it and achieve it and maintain it? I wish I could say a resounding YES, but I can’t because there isn’t a simple end all be all answer to that question though many of the self help books would have us believe that and then we all wonder why we can rarely achieve happiness let alone hold onto it for it very long.
I have however come to realize that happiness is not something that resides in the external world, the material world, that once achieved will bring us everlasting peace and tranquility not does it stem from another person and the expectation that this is the person that will make me happy.
Happiness to me has come to represent a few things, but almost all of these things dwell within me. I am one of those people that have always put others ahead of myself, thinking that by doing so, they will love me and appreciate me and in return I will be happy. I have always linked happiness with having fun thus if I wasn’t having fun then I couldn’t very well be happy now could I? I am also one of the millions of women on this planet that felt if I didn’t look thin, toned, strong, have nice teeth and good hair that I couldn’t be happy What is the common denominator with all of the above? They are all external variations of feeling good which does not equate to happiness.
There are so many theories about how to achieve happiness and maintain it. Eckhart Tolle and living in the now is a key philosophy and if one can achieve that and maintain it constantly and forever my hats are off to you because it certainly does work. I just haven’t been able to stop myself from remembering and also from hoping, two things which can’t exist in the NOW, for more than minutes at any given time.
Happiness to me has become incredibly personal. I have found that if I set boundaries for myself about what is good for me and what is not, how people can treat me and how they cannot, what I expect of myself and what I do not, if I maintain my honesty and integrity and take responsibility for my actions and words, if I show kindness and compassion and refrain from making judgements about myself or others, if I listen instead of preach, if I lead by example instead of follow, if I value myself and respect myself that I have found balance. If I pay it forward and if I feel gratitude. If I learn from my mistakes and therefore grow. If I take the path of courage instead of fear and if I recognize my mistakes. And if I can say I am sorry. If I work hard and am proud of myself. If I lose my way and recognize that path but also recognize I am human and make corrections instead of condemning myself.
If I laugh more than I cry and I give more than I take. If I am positive rather than negative and hopeful rather than skeptical. If I forgive or am forgiving. If I take the time to stop and breath the air and look around me and appreciate life’s beauty. If I feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.
If I open my mind to the energy of the Universe and believe we are all connected and envision a pure white light enveloping me, protecting me and wrapping me in love from head to toe, and enveloping each of my children and every other person alive, then there is no need to doubt or question or fear. If I allow myself to love. To love myself. Then I am happy.
And the wonderous thing about all of this, is that it is all within me. It is all within you. And all it takes is the decision to start right now.
I am 44 years old and for the first time in my life, I am not relying on anyone else to make me happy or to believe in me. I am doing it all by myself. And I am happy.
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